Why Private Erotic Photoshoots Often Don't Happen

And what you can do to make them succeed.

If you are thinking about having me do a private shoot for you, and/or your partner, you should read this blog post.  I get a lot of inquiries from people who are thinking about having a private erotic photoshoot.  I've traded messages with so many potential clients that I can see the patterns that indicate if a shoot will happen or not.

Most shoots that actually take place are easy to arrange.  The person who contacts me knows what they want and they allow me to advise them on the best way to make it happen.  If they have special desires, they make that known early on.   

Unfortunately, a majority of those who contact me are not really ready to do an intimate, private shoot.  There are a few different reasons for that.

Some people just haven't given this much thought.  Before contacting me, spend some time thinking about what you really want.  If the shoot will involve your partner, make sure they are informed and on board with exactly what you want to do.  Trying to negotiate the details with them while trading messages with me is going to be frustrating.

Another issue I see frequently is that they haven't decided the primary goal of the shoot.  There are two main choices.   The first is to create amazing images that they will treasure now and in the future.  The second is to have a great erotic experience in front of the camera.   

It's very difficult to achieve both goals in the same shoot, but my experience allows me to come pretty close.  In order to do that, I need my client(s) to be completely honest with me.   I've learned to be very open and accepting about sexual issues, but many have a hard time with that.   Most people have been trained to keep their sexual desires and fantasies hidden, but a successful photoshoot requires you to be open with your naughty photographer.  

One issue I see a lot is that some people fantasize about being told what to do while in front of the camera.  For an old BDSM guy like me, that seems perfectly normal and I'm happy to play the dominant role.  To be honest, I'm pretty good at it.  The catch is that we are now talking about a BDSM scene and that requires negotiations.  No problem, I'm an experienced negotiator.  But wait!  For many people, asking for what they want tends to kill their fantasy!  A catch 22 situation for sure.

I've lost count of the potential clients who vanished when they realized their simple, vague, fantasy would lead them to a complex project that required them to consider their own motives and desires.  For those who are willing to work with me, an erotic shoot can be an amazing experience.

A surprisingly common request is when someone asks me to provide another person to do sexy things with them or their partner.  Unfortunately, that creates all sorts of legal issues that I don't want to deal with.  You definitely need to bring your own playmate(s) to a couple's erotic photoshoot!   And yes, I do check ID if someone looks young.  Nobody under 18 gets in front of my camera.

The last issue that can prevent a shoot from happening is the question of privacy.  I have a good privacy plan in place that involves me deleting the images from my hard drive after I send them to my client via Google Drive.  For most people that's adequate, but for high value clients it might make sense to simply hand them the memory card straight from the camera.  This eliminates opportunities for big tech and government monitoring systems to capture the images in transit.

I'm always willing to trade emails with potential clients who are willing to say what they want and answer questions honestly.