Yes, This is the Original Beyond Boudoir Photo

Beware of Imitators!

I've been doing nude photography for roughly a quarter century and first started using the name "Beyond Boudoir Photo" in 2009.   I started my profile on Model Mayhem on March 12, 2010 and registered this URL shortly thereafter.

One thing I liked about the name BeyondBoudoirPhoto.com was that nobody else was using anything close.  A few years later, I saw that one fellow was using "BetterThanBoudoir" which I thought was funny.  But time marches on and now a simple web search will find many websites that include the words Beyond Boudoir.   I suppose I should be flattered at the imitation!

Back in 2010 I learned all about search engine optimization and made sure to include the phrase "erotic couples photoshoot" on several of my site's pages.  It worked surprisingly well.  When I searched on that phrase or Beyond Boudoir, my site would come up as the first three or four choices on Google.

Today, those searches will turn up a number of imitators.  Some of them are apparently paying Google Ads to give them preferential placement.  I've decided not to do that.  I'd rather rely on the images and information I offer on this site to attract clients.    

If you feel confused about why so many photographers are using Beyond Boudoir in their business name, the explanation is simple.  They are simply imitating the original concept and hoping you won't notice.

To contact me, please use the contact link at the top of every page and follow the instructions you will find there.

Thanks for reading!

How and Why I Interview My Clients Before a Private Erotic Photoshoot

My Friends!

I'm not a very active blogger when the weather is nice, but here in the Pacific Northwest, Winter is made for staying indoors and catching up on your writing and reading.  It's pretty gloomy outside today, so it's a good time for me to talk about another aspect of my private photoshoots.   Read on after the sexy photo!

When doing private erotic photoshoots, my goal isn't just to create pretty pictures.  I want to photograph activities, expressions and interactions that capture the erotic spirit of my clients.  One important element in this process is talking to the client(s) before the shoot to learn about their relationship and their sexuality. I also ask questions to determine how best to deliver the images to them in a way that meets their expectations.

I love being able to meet clients for coffee and have a nice chat a day or more before their photoshoot, but that isn't always possible.  Often my clients are on a tight schedule and prefer to dispense with the pre-shoot meetup.  So I've learned to condense my interview into about a ten minute discussion in the studio.  In order to do that I've had to make a mental list of the important questions I need to ask.  These will vary between couple's shoots and solo shoots.  To give you a rough idea of how it works, here are some typical questions in no particular order:

Who is the intended audience for the photos?

This usually comes down to the gender of the person who's expected to view the photos.  If a woman is creating images for her man, I'm more likely to use my "men's magazine" style of photography.  If a straight man is creating photos for his woman or let's say for dating sites, I will try to build images that spark a favorable response in women.

How do the two partners interact sexually?

Starting at the most basic level, who is the sexually dominant partner and who is submissive?  Obviously that will affect how I pose client(s).

What are your favorite sexual acts?

This one is pretty obvious.  If a couple really loves a particular form of sex play, that can be the centerpiece or climax (pun intended) of the shoot.

Do you or the intended viewer(s) have any fetishes that are important to you?

For example, if someone wants dating photos to find partners interested in a particular fetish, we'd want to build that fetish into the shoot in some way.

Will you be viewing the photos on screens or will you make prints?

This will affect how I format the photos into their final JPG form for the client.  It can also affect how I compose the photos both in the camera and in post-processing.  FYI: very few people make prints of their intimate photos these days.

Do you want me to cull all the unflattering photos so you don't have to see them, or do you want me to send almost all the photos and let you decide?

This depends a lot on how comfortable folks are with their own body.  

How do you wish to receive your photos?

Usually I send edited photos via Google Drive or a similar file sharing service.  However, some clients have high level privacy concerns and prefer that I hand them the memory card at the end of the shoot.  If I'm not going to have a chance to edit the images, I will try to shoot in such a way that less editing will be needed.

My Private Shoots vs My Shoots With Pro Models
 

One thing about my work can be a bit confusing for potential clients when they first discover me.  As you probably know, my art has two branches.  My core mission is to provide totally private, intimate photoshoots to paying clients, mostly erotic couples photoshoots, but singles too.  Since the images are private, I usually can't put them in my portfolio for you to see.   That would defeat the purpose of a private shoot!

My secondary gig involves doing sexy shoots with pro models to create photosets that I sell online.  These shoots are a great way to keep my skills sharp.  Since I'm usually paying the model by the hour, I'm under time pressure and have to deal quickly with surprises like equipment problems or sudden bursts of creativity.  This kind of experience allows me to give my full attention to my private clients and keep the shoot energy flowing without interruption.  No matter what surprises are thrown at me, I always complete the shoot with lots of great photos.

Another big benefit of my model shoots is that I own those images and can include them in my portfolio for potential clients to see when you visit my website.

One of the minor benefits is that I get to test out new equipment and techniques with models that I wouldn't want to try with paying clients.

I like to think of my model shoots like the kind of practice a musician does between concerts.  The time spent practicing is greater than the time spent performing, but you can't have one without the other.

Blue BoudoirIn her boudoir - from an erotic apartment photoshoot. - intimate, explicit boudoir, racy, raunchy, nude, sexy, risque boudoir, photographer, photography, private, discrete, couples, couple, portland oregon, photo studio.

Yes, I finally raised my private erotic photoshoot rates - here's why!

My friends!  Many of you have been telling me for a long time that I'm not charging enough for my private erotic photoshoots.  I did appreciate all the nice things you said about me, including my ability to produce a large number of near-perfect photos within three days.  I'm very proud of my technical skills.

But it's that other thing I had a hard time internalizing.  You've all told me how I have a gift for making naked and nervous people feel comfortable and encouraging them to act out their fantasies.  And you like the way I "interview" my clients before the shoot in order to understand what kind of style and poses will create images they will love.  I guess I didn't understand how special that is until recently.  Many of my clients have told me stories about other "erotic boudoir" photographers who wouldn't shoot what the client wanted, made them feel uncomfortable, or the finished images just weren't very good.  

I recently did a hotel shoot for a really nice couple who had a great time and loved the large number of photos they received.  By the time we finished the shoot we felt like old friends, so they told me about another erotic couple's shoot they'd done last year in Las Vegas.  They described the young female photographer who came to their hotel room as being detached and not willing to interact with them.  After the shoot, they received a relatively small number of photos that were not of the quality they wanted.  To top it off, the photographer's fee was about $2,000.  They said I need to be charging a LOT more for my services.

That's what started me thinking hard about my rates.  So I began to look around at other photographer's websites and quickly realized that I should probably be charging more.  I continued to think about this until I happened to watch a video by a wedding photographer I follow on YouTube, Katelyn James,  who advises other photographers. I like her because she uses the same camera that I do and wedding photography is similar in many ways to my work.

Katelyn said two things that hit home for me.  She said that if your rates are too low compared to other similar photographers, people will think there is something wrong and avoid you. She also said that if your clients tell you that you aren't charging enough, you need to listen.  That is a very strong signal that your rates are too low.

So the evidence has finally piled up to the point where I am ready to raise my rates.  I realize that I have a unique service to offer.  The combination of my technical skills and easygoing, reassuring personality are very rare in this small niche market.  Another thing to consider is that I've been keeping client's images private for over a decade. I don't know of anyone else in this field who can say that.   It's time.

Thanks for all your support!  If we have already talked about doing a shoot at my old rates, you are grandfathered in, so just remind me please.

Famous model St. Merrique, playing pool on red satin.

Why Instagram Sucks for Photographers and Models

Once upon a time, all models and photographers who did nude work could be found on a website called Model Mayhem.  It was designed from the ground up to help these two groups find each other and arrange photoshoots that would benefit them both.  Each subscriber filled out a profile that stated their location and what kind of work they were interested in.  There were many boxes you could click, or not, to indicate your preferences for nude work, paid or trade work, artistic genres and other factors.  Models could enter their age, measurements, hair color, eye color, ethnicity and lots more.  Effective search functions allowed people to find each other.  

If you were travelling to another area, you could post something called a "travel notice" that would alert subscribers in that area.   If you were looking for gigs in your home area you could post something called an "availability notice" that would be visible to anyone who wished to check.

Both photographers and models could post lots of fully nude photos.  Paying for a higher level subscription allowed you to post more as well as giving you more extensive search functions.

Model Mayhem gave a huge boost to the nude photography genre.  It's appearance on the scene coincided with the rise of digital photography, so you no longer needed a photo lab to process your nude images.   Most of the photographers on MM were hobbyists, I believe, but most models were paid to pose.  MM also included lively discussion forums which allowed a nude photography culture to develop.  This helped to standardize customs and useful terminology.  A new species of model quickly evolved, the travelling nude model, who would go on tour around the country from paid gig to paid gig.

At this point you may be wondering why a blog post about Instagram starts with a description of Model Mayhem.  Sadly, Model Mayhem has been slowly declining as a useful platform for several years, and most of the models have migrated to Instagram and other modern social media platforms.  The reasons for the decline of MM are too complex for this discussion, so let me move on to Instagram, or IG as I will call it.

The biggest problem with IG is that it was never designed as a platform for models and photographers to mingle.  When I as a photographer see a profile of someone who looks like they might be a model, I often can't tell for sure if they are interested in modeling or if they are just posting nice pix to impress their friends.  Usually, I have to reach out and risk angering them by asking if they are a (nude) model or perhaps a nude dancer who might be interested in modeling as a side gig.

In some cases, a profile will make it clear that the individual is a model, but it will leave out other important information.  Many models don't include their city, their age or their genre preferences.  Very few include such things as their measurements, their nudity limits, their modeling rates and other important details that were commonly available on MM.  IG offers only a very superficial look at potential models and the same is true when models are looking for photographers.   It's up to you to strike up a conversation and ferret out the needed details.  Of course most IG subscribers are using their phones, so long messages are unpopular.  You need to keep them short and to the point.  Even then, it's easy to have misunderstandings, especially when chatting with inexperienced models.

One thing you can count on is that models on IG who have an OnlyFans account will always include a link!  That is good to know since I like to offer content-trade shoots to OnlyFans models.  It also strongly suggests that they won't be horrified if I ask them about their possible interest in nude modeling.
 

Let's move on to the next reason that Instagram sucks.  It's the way that IG forces people to post photos that conform to their limited choices of aspect ratios.  The biggest complaint is with vertically cropped photos, which are a high percentage of nude images, like the example below:

IG has forced photographers to change their artistic style to conform to the demands of the platform. That sucks. Supposedly the 9x16 vertical format will be allowed soon and it will be a huge help.  Long horizontal crops, like the one below, are displayed as very small images on most people's screens.  You have to keep your images close to square for them to be seen as you intended.

Instagram also sucks compared to MM in the good old days, because models can't post nude pix.  This is a very real problem for nude photographers, because you need to know what a model looks like nude before you agree to pay her for a shoot.  If you have to ask a model to provide nude photos it tends to make you look like a creep - that is not fun.

The last reason I will mention is the very poorly managed censorship of photos.  This task is performed by some kind of bot(s) governed by "The Algorithm."   It's not unreasonable to expect a social media platform to censor images with nudity.  The problem is that the definition of nudity is tricky and The Algorithm is unstable.  I think the programmers tweak it whenever subscribers have figured out exactly what is allowed and what isn't.  This has resulted in many viable IG accounts being terminated by The Algorithm.  For reasons I don't fully understand, this affects nude models a lot more than photographers.  Practically every model I work with mentions that her IG account got deleted at [tens of thousands] of followers.

All that being said, IG is currently an important way for me to find models.  Sadly, it takes an insane amount of time and it forces me to distort my artistic style when I choose which photos to post.  The fact that I have to trade messages with people who may not be comfortable with nude modeling creates stress.  Trying to arrange a successful shoot with a model who doesn't know the relevant terminology is also time consuming and stressful.

Fortunately I also do private shoots for paying clients and that helps keep me sane.

One of the ways I deal with the suck we call Instagram is to use the one and only link you are allowed to include in your profile.  I have it pointing to a page on my own website which is optimized for models coming from IG.  They quickly get a good idea of my style and how I operate.   If it weren't for that, IG would be unusable for me.

I will include a few photos here from my recent expedition to Tacoma where I did seven shoots with local models in an amazing house.  The results will be showing up on my Bentbox page over the next few weeks.

@Lola123blush dropped in for a baby bump shoot@Lola123blush dropped in for a baby bump shoot

Catfishing, Fantasy and Photography

a psychosexual report

According to an online dictionary, "catfishing" is when a person assumes a false identity online to deceive, manipulate or swindle another person.   In my role as an erotic photographer, I've been catfished many times in the last decade or so.  As my reputation expands, it's happening more often and is becoming a real problem. 

To be clear, people aren't trying to swindle me, they are seeking erotic interactive entertainment or validation.  There are also some real people (women) who are for a brief moment serious about scheduling a shoot.  I've addressed those near the end of this post. 

As you can imagine, I get a lot of emails from potential clients.  Roughly a third are legitimate inquiries and the rest I broadly label as catfishing attempts.  I used to find this fascinating and would engage in long email conversations that never resulted in a booked photoshoot, but helped me gain a bit more understanding of human sexual fantasies.  After engaging in hundreds of these email exchanges, I've learned how the game works and I'm sharing what I've learned so that fellow erotic photographers can benefit from my experience.  If there are any internet psychologists out there who find this post, feel free to quote from it.

Of course it always starts with an email from someone who says they want to arrange a private photoshoot. I have to take all inquiries seriously at first, but I don't want to waste time on unproductive messaging.   If it's a catfishing attempt, the conversation will usually go two different ways, depending on the assumed gender of the person.  Each way follows a fairly predictable path and I've wondered if perhaps the same handful of people have been emailing me the same fantasies for all these years.

If it's a man, he first asks if I'd do an erotic photoshoot that includes him and his wife, but spending most of the time shooting his wife, who is very attractive.  Often he will send nude photos of a woman who is supposed to be his wife.  Sometimes the photos look like a real person and sometimes they look like they've been ripped from the net.  Real clients rarely send photos without being asked, so that alone is a yellow flag, but at this point it's hard to tell if the person is a legitimate potential client or a catfisher, so I must respond to get to the next step.

At this point, a male catfisher will start hinting that he wants someone else to have sex with his wife while he watches, or at least gets to see the pix later.  Sometimes they want me to provide a male porn star to service the wife, but often they want to know if I'm willing to perform.  They never ask about practical things like STD tests.  If I play along, their fantasy gets more and more elaborate, typically evolving into a gangbang scenario.

Female-presenting catfishers follow a path that goes like this:  Sometimes they say they are an aspiring novice model and sometimes they say they are a successful single woman who wants sexy photos for their own enjoyment and empowerment.  Unlike legitimate female clients, they don't seek sexy photos for online dating or self-promotion.

Early in the conversation, they briefly mention that they'd like some rather erotic photos in addition to the usual boudoir theme.  As the email exchange goes on, they start adding more erotic and more complex elements.  They want to know if one of the male models in my photos would be available to have sex with them.  One of the most blatant red flags is that they ask if I get aroused while doing photoshoots and hint that it's OK if I do.  In general, the female-presenting catfishers play a more sophisticated game and have more writing skill compared to the cruder efforts of the males.  They are also more likely to offer me a lot of money.

Often they want to know if I will order them to assume naughty positions or engage in lascivious acts, which indicates submissive preferences.   If I stay with the conversation long enough it usually morphs into a gangbang fantasy, sometimes with a very large number of men involved and an elaborate story line.

Since both the male and female-presenting paths go to roughly the same endpoint, I think there is a good chance that both groups are mostly male.  Some just pretend to be female.  I assume they are not happy with their sex life and like so many other people, they turned to the internet to build an easy fantasy world that pushes their erotic buttons.   It's a lot less trouble than trying to build real life relationships.  The apparent fact that so many catfishers are male is interesting.  My thought is that we should not judge them too harshly.  It's a very confusing time to be a man.  I just wish they wouldn't waste so much of my time.

It gets old providing free services in this manner.  Maybe I should monetize this by soliciting money for each hot fantasy message I respond to?   Then I could hire someone to pretend to be me and that would complete the circle of deception!   What a strange world we live in.
 

Real Women

To be complete, I should mention that there are some real women who waste my time building a sexual fantasy around what it would feel like to be nude in front of my camera. They usually send nude selfies and insist that I comment on their bodies.  Fishing for compliments, obviously.  Eventually, they ask if I can provide someone to do naughty things to them.  Some of these conversations are via text message, which makes it easy to impulsively send nude selfies to a stranger.  Recently, women have started sending disappearing pictures to my phone.  What will they think of next?  LOL

These conversations with real women usually play out in a couple of hours and often alcohol is involved.  Sometimes, they are sober, just horny and lonely.  They vanish as rapidly as they appeared.  It's sad in a way, because I'd be happy to do a private shoot for them with no risk of the pix escaping into the wild.  I know that posing for a nude shoot can be a very erotic experience for many women.  I encourage that in almost all my shoots that have an erotic theme.  

That's all for now.  I may add to this post later.  I usually include some sexy photos in my blog posts and I briefly considered using some that have been sent to me by various catfishers.   Perhaps I should create a gallery on my site?  That might be something I will do in the future, but not right now.

Thanks for reading!