How do you meet people these days? Dating at work is taboo. You don't want everyone knowing your love life at church or in your business group. That's why virtually every adult who is single and looking for a partner is now using internet dating sites. It's a big time saver and you don't have to hang out in smoky bars with a lot of drunks!
The downside is that you are now competing with hundreds of other men or women in your city instead of just the dozen or so in the bar on a particular evening. And, you still have to meet at some point. If you misrepresent yourself, you could waste a lot of time going on unproductive first dates. The questions are: how do you make yourself stand out and how do you attract potential partners who will be interested in the real you?
The rules are different for men and women and they vary depending on how prudish or sexy your dating site happens to be. Let's leave out the adult dating sites for now and concentrate on mainstream sites.
If you are a woman, you need to remember that men are very visual creatures. You may think that they will read through all the profiles on the dating site before they decide who to contact, but in reality, they just browse through the pictures.
They pass right by the blurry cell phone shots, the old vacation photos and the couple's photos with the ex cropped out. They are looking for women they think are visually attractive. Then, they read the profile text!
Next time you are browsing a dating site, think about which photos catch your eye? Most likely it is the rare professional portrait. No, not the stuffy business headshots, the sexy, flirty portraits. Right?
So, you need to find a good portrait/boudoir photographer.
Don't be afraid to show a little skin, but make sure you stay within the guidelines of your particular dating site.
Show off the visual elements that define your look. Tattoos are very popular these days. Glasses are very fashionable too. If you have cool frames, go ahead and include them in some of your photos.
Show more than one side of your personality. For example, some men love dominant women.
Don't ask the photographer to do a lot retouching with Photoshop. The photos here, for example, are unretouched. It is important not to create unrealistic expectations. Do try to show your overall shape and size. If you make a man wait for the first date to know if you are short or tall, heavy or slender, old or young-looking for your age, it is not a very efficient way to meet people.
FYI: the woman in these photos is in her late forties and recently lost over 100 pounds. She also just found her perfect mate!
The rules for men are different. No surprise there. Women look for different things, like eyes, hands and facial expression. They are also looking for clues to your economic and social status. Men's photos should show them well dressed and looking squarely into the lens.
A traditional portrait may be a good choice for a man's dating profile. They can show a lot about your personality, but remember that women are very sensitive to facial expressions and will draw strong conclusions based on their intuition. Small things can make a big difference. Consider these two portraits. The first shows a man in soft, flattering lighting with a smile. The second uses more dramatic lighting and a mysterious expression. Think very carefully about what message you wish to send!
Once you have chosen a main profile picture that shows your face the way you like, then you can have some fun with different facets of your personality. Women love clothes, so if you happen to enjoy dressing up, have your photographer create some images of you in your favorite fun outfit.
You may wish to create an environmental portrait that shows you with the things that are part of your life. Here is a fun image of Portland musician and photographer David Rolin with his car.
You can also use a bicycle, a boat, or whatever shows you doing the things you love. Think about having a photographer record you playing soccer, riding your bike along the river or jogging in the park. You can even have photos of you working in your garden or playing the piano. Women want to know all about you, so find a good photographer and take the time to create a portfolio of your life!
A sex-positive photographer serving your private photography needs.
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